When Life Gets in the Way


I got a phone call from my work the other day. Seems I’m no longer on maternity leave, I’m now a stay at home mum.

My employer has gone into receivership and I’ll soon be without a job or employer to go back to.

Odd thing is was that I didn’t really feel like going back to work there. I was taking 12 months off work (all unpaid apart from 18 weeks of government parenting payments) and then we’d evaluate the situation- can we live on one wage, do I need to go back part-time or full-time, can I get a job with better conditions elsewhere? Given the issues and the lack of support my manager gave me during the first 4 months of pregnancy, I didn’t feel any loyalty to going back there. This job was kind of my safety net if I needed to go back to work and I couldn’t get a job elsewhere.

Given that I work in IT and mostly do helpdesk/service desk, then I’m sure I’ll pick something up if/when I have to, but this wasn’t the news I wanted during the first few months of my leave.

I’ve got a cold again and I feel just miserable.

Lawyer started in her new position finally, however new people mean new germs and colds and one of her underlings (she’s so chuffed that with this promotion she finally has people who report to her) got a cold, passed it around the office, and then she passed it to me.

I had been doing so well not to catch it, but just as she started getting better I started feeling sniffly and tired. Typical, the end of the world is predicted and I have a cold!

Back to the couch, my box of tissues, lemon and honey tea and a hard drive full of TV to watch.

I feel like I’ve been such a bad blogger. It’s been over a week since my last post, but life has just been so busy. I’ve got some half started posts sitting waiting for me to find time to finish them and hit post.

We’re finally getting our bathroom renovated. It’s been needed ever since we moved in and last Wednesday the tiles finally came up. We’ve been showering at my parents place, and the last two nights we’ve been glad that we have a big backyard, because we’ve been without a toilet and have had try and use our work facilities where possible, or a dig in the back yard.

I got a small pay rise, which couldn’t have come at a better time. Although I’ve finally set my last work date and I’m surprised by how soon it is. June 10th and I’m on maternity leave for 12 months!

Roller Derby, more roller derby, and a bit more. This year’s season is condensed down so much that the grand final is 4 days before my due date. Which means that even thought we’re just at half way through the season, we’ve got 14 weeks left until the finals. But having a few nights at the training venue when I’m not needed means that I can go for a swim with the other preggo derby girls. From the 4 of us there is one boy, one girl, one not finding out and us.

I got a cold the other week which made me miserable as all hell, and left me with a wracking cough that finally had me turning to the pharmacy for something safe to ease it. Lawyer got it 4 days after me, so we’ve both been off work at various times.

There was a big baby expo that Lawyer and I spent two days investigating. We took my mum along on the first day and I’m so glad we did. We all learnt a lot of things and mum got a lot of information on how much things have changed since I was a baby. We spent a bit of time getting some information about vaccinations and how important it is for close relatives (grandparents, aunties, etc) to be vaccinated against whooping-cough. Along with the free samples (6 disposable nappies, a bag full of breast pads and some creams)  we got a lot of information to digest on cloth nappies, breast pumps, car seats, prams, and playgroups. The second day we went back on our own and bought an electric breast pump, spent some time talking to a breastfeeding counsellor on Lawyer being able to breastfeed too (I think it’s fantastic that we’ll hopefully both get to option to feed), and a few cloth nappies. We now have a few more things to add to the cot and the random clothes we have.

But the best part of the last few weeks has been organising tomorrow. It’s our 4 year wedding anniversary, and we’re getting away for an extended weekend baby moon and anniversary celebration. Massages, spa bath, log fire and great local food. I can’t wait to put my feet up!

I’ve got my fingers crossed and sending sticky vibes to a woman at work who is currently going through her second IVF cycle. Like us, her first cycle was bust with nothing in the deep freeze for round two. This time with different drugs, growth hormones and a lot of good luck she got the same amount of eggs, but of better quality. So far one has been transferred, four are frozen and her clinic is waiting on one more to mature a bit more to see if it is of freezable quality.

She’s been really open about the whole process her and her fiancee are going through and we’ve spend probably way too much work time discussing medications, cycles, eggs, sperm and other IVF stuff. It feels really good to be able to discuss this openly with someone else, especially since during our IVF cycle we were quite worried to let anyone know what was happening before we could give a definite positive answer.

So sticky vibes to C at work and her 5 day old blastocyst, and here’s hoping that in two weeks time I can say I’ve got another Belly Buddy.

Blaze wearing the Lucky Clover beanie I made for C's upcoming IVF cycle.

In the mean time, suffering from a cold with little medication I can take is making me feel miserable… and now Lawyer has sucumbed to my lurgy too. The only good thing has been having 4 days of couch time, rewatching Glee and knitting while getting kitty cuddles.

A friend of ours in RL has been curious about our IVF journey, wanting to know details of the clinics in our home town. Turns out her and her partner want to have children together. He comes with 3 from a previous relationship, but of course biology is driving her to have her own. He’s had a vasectomy, so they are looking into IVF as a way around it rather than a reversal of the procedure.

They must have been getting serous when she came off the pill in the first time in many years. Unfortunately this let symptoms for Adenomyosis show itself, and along with a history of benign cysts, the doctors wanted to do some exploratory surgery to find out exactly what was happening for her. And while a diagnosis of Adenomyosis  is not promising when wanting to have children (my sisters and I are proof that women with it can have children- even if it is a difficult path), the results also came back that as someone in her early to mid 30s, she has absolutely no eggs left.

We were both left shocked when we heard this. Our IVF journey is nothing compared to what this couple has to go through, and while I am grateful of that we had a friend who was willing to be our donor, using a donor was something we expected from the outset.

It warms my heart though when Lawyer tells me that already a few friends have offered to be egg donors for her. ‘ amazing gift to give someone, and makes us think about the 7 frozen siblings we have and what to do with them once we have our family.

Now that work is back after the Christmas/New Year break I find that I’m spending less time anywhere near my computer when I get home. Thankfully our 4 person IT helpdesk has finally gone from 2 to 3 staff, but the new guy is still working the middle shift while he learns the ropes, and then my co-worker who prefers mornings is going to China to marry his girlfriend who he knocked up (she’s chinese, hence the trip to china and to meet the in-laws). This means that unless the new guy, who is meant to be my manager convinces the IT manager that two people cannot man a helpdesk between 7am and 7pm, I’m still going to be working from 11am – 7pm.

Sounds like it would be great working hours right? Wrong! Lawyer still has to get to work around 9am, so she’s awake at 7am and so am I. I get to laze in bed a bit more, and actually have time to eat a proper breakfast, maybe do some housework or check my computer (the washing machine is on as I type). The bus trip in takes a little bit longer as there aren’t as many services out of peak times, and my head just isn’t with it enough for inner city driving. Then I leave at 7pm and bus home. Of course evenings were normally when we’d do things like go to the gym, go to our knitting group, and of course Roller Derby training. Sometimes I make it to the gym, I get to knitting late and get about half an hour to catch up with people before they have evening busses to get home, and Roller Derby practise means I have to pull my brains together, drive to work, and then leave the office a bit early to get to training on time (no one ever calls after 5.30 anyway, so it’s not like they’re missing out on any service). And with my bed time now closer to 10pm, I’ve got a few hours in the evening to cook and eat dinner and put my feet up.

We’ve finally booked in our doula and met with her again, and saw the OB again and got more baby photos. Briefly, we’re feeling confident about our choices, emby is doing fine, wriggling around and sucking it’s thumb, and the placenta has moved up and out of the way, and tomorrow is the Australia Day public holiday, so hopefully I’ll have time to scan all the photos and post them properly.

Public holidays and delays with Christmas post really put a dampener on getting things via mail during the holidays, but happy to say that our Holiday Swap ornaments finally arrived (as did my birthday presents, a few Christmas cards, early Emby scans photos from the IVF clinic, my dad’s birthday gift I ordered from China and a few other things we’d been waiting on).

The ladies from BWUB … plus one made us these:

Christmas 2010 ornament

Blaze loves the Blaze shaped ornament

I particularly love the Blaze ornament. Lawyer got home before me the day it arrived. She called me straight away to tell me all about the dragon ornament.

In baby news, my belly is getting bigger. I think I may be saying goodbye to my work shirts this week. They fit, but only just. While the nausea is greatly improved, I’m probably only 90%. I’m hungry, but I fill up quickly and then food doesn’t interest me. Managed to get my vegetable quota up today by cooking and eating my first spaghetti squash, fresh from my vegie patch.

On the weekend we had a Science Fiction costume party to go to, so we went Charity Op Shopping for costume clothes and a few looser fitting tops and maternity pants for myself. But I made a great find in one store. A baby bouncer exactly like the one my mum used for my sisters and I. It’s old, but seems unused and in great condition.

Baby bouncer. The colour no way indicates we know what we're having.

For the costume party I went as the guy from the Alien movie with the alien exploding out his belly, and Lawyer was an Ensign Redshirt from Star Trek- thankfully she didn’t get killed during the night.

Lawyer, Geek and the Belly Alien

It was the first time that a lot of these friends had seen us since we announced our pregnancy, so there were lots of congrats and hugs. Thankfully only one person made mention of patting my belly, to which I said only if I could pat her boobs. Didn’t get the belly pat. Phew!

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