Waiting to TTC

After a month of procrastinating Lawyer finally managed to get my to sit down and go through my papers and do my income tax. Wish I’d done it sooner.

Let’s just say that by adding our tax returns  to our savings we now have enough money to make a baby.

Lawyer was explaining what needed to be put where, I punched in the numbers, clicked next on my computer and we sat and waited for it to calculate the estimate… I did a little drum roll on my desk and we both said holy sh!t in unison when the figure popped up. I wasn’t expecting so much, but it is a very welcome relief, and it means that we might be able to socialise a bit this month.


We’re only 6 weeks away from our first IVF cycle and are realising that our waiting is almost over… and that there were a few things that we wanted to have done or try to achieve before I’m pregnant.

  • Break my caffeine addiction – today is day one
  • Get better stomach muscles… or at least try and get rid of some of the podgy belly and do more crunches.
  • Get into a cleaning routine- Lawyer and I have successfully managed to keep our clothes picked up around the house and put the dishes in the dishwasher every day this week. We’re taking small steps
  • Routinely go to bed before midnight and try and get more sleep
  • Bug bomb the 3rd bedroom to get rid of the wool eating bugs before it becomes the nursery
  • Knit more from the stash so it takes up less space and can move it from the 3rd bedroom/nursery to the study
  • Fix up the front garden beds
  • Drink or give away the shelf of wine in the pantry that we seem to have collected over the years. Don’t ask me why people give us bottles of wine as gifts when we’re not wine drinkers.
  • Eat CHEEEEEEESE. Brie, Camembert, Blue Vein, Goats cheese. I love it all, and will miss it when pregnant.
  • Get a quote to fix our bathroom so we can get the work started once I’m pregnant and the Medicare rebate money has come back.

Trying to work out what else we need to do. The wait has been killing me, but that list makes me realise we’ve got so much to do still.

Aunt Flo is here for her penultimate visit, dead on time as expected. I had the grumpy irritability for the last two days- seriously I should not be driving with PMT! My temperature dipped this morning and the cramping has started.

In 29 days time this will happen again and this time Lawyer and I will celebrate. I’ve got a very nice bottle of honey brandy I’ve been saving for a special occasion and I think actually starting to make a baby counts as very special.

I’ve never been so exciting about my monthly bleeding. Normally I see it as a reminder that while my body still works, I’m being stopped by red tape and doctors waiting times.

Soon I have to book in some annual leave from work in order to travel interstate for our first cycle. While we’ll probably not buy our flights over until a day or two before, I have to book leave early so that no one else in my area requests the same time and I miss out.
There are two issues that mean I’m going to have to lie.
We can’t be certain of exactly which days we’ll be going, so at the moment the best I can say is sometime from the 2nd of September, but this can’t be confirmed until probably one to two weeks before.
I’m still in my probation period and after all the mess with my last job, I don’t want anyone to know we’re trying for kids until my job is safe and permanent.
So what excuse can I give my boss for why I must go on leave these few days but I can’t give an exact date?
Tempted to say for unspecified surgery, but I don’t want my boss to ask for a medical certificate, only to get one with an interstate doctor’s clinic on it. Then it sounds like I have something terminal and that just creates too many questions.
I hate having to make excuses.

Crap layer one: we’ve been a bit concerned that we haven’t heard back from Melbourne IVF about D’s test results yet. We know that they had been translated to English and sent over to Australia, so Tuesday morning I gave them a call to say “what’s up?” What was up, was that they had sent to results over, but the doctor had made one small typo with D’s birthday. Instead of him being born in 1984, they had written down that he was born in 1994- making D only 16. It also meant that the date of birth on the blood test didn’t match the date of birth on all the paperwork and they couldn’t accept them. Thankfully MIVF have been in contact with the clinic overseas to get them to reissue the results with the correct date of birth. This is taking more time, which means that if we had wanted to go with my next cycle we wouldn’t have had clearance anyway. Poop!

The sweet filling: We had an appointment with a local fertility specialist who was recommended by different two lesbian couples who had seen her when trying to get pregnant. MIVF asked that we find somewhere to get my day 8 ultrasounds and blood tests done. Now I could have gone through the local radiology clinic who are fine with locating kidneys, liver and other internal organs, but probably wouldn’t understand the urgency and accuracy of a day 8 fertility cycle and measuring ovaries and follicles. Now while the fertility clinic here won’t accept me as a fertility patient, because I am a patient through MIVF they will do what they call resource sharing. They’ll do my scans and tests and fax them over to Melbourne, as well as send them the bill. MIVF then take that out of the huge wad of money we’re saving up to pay them. Now chances are we’ll never see this doctor again, but she was lovely. First thing she commented on was that we were knitting in the waiting room, and how she would rather be sitting outside in the sunshine knitting. She is completely understanding of how f**ked our state’s fertility laws are. Even when I rang up to make the appointment her staff didn’t make assumptions on my partner, she asked if my partner was male or female. I appreciated being asked rather than having to correct someone ‘not husband. My wife!

Crap layer two: I got a call today from MIVF this time asking me if we’d got our police checks done. Umm… yes. We got our copy in the mail a few months ago. I didn’t realise that Victorian Police don’t send on a copy to Melbourne IVF, we had to send on the copy we were sent. Whoops. Lucky we found out now rather than in a months time.

Actually this crap sandwich is more like a double stacked cream biscuit with a double layer of good. Lawyer has been applying for other positions within the Government department she works in. It’s thing you do to advance up through the ranks, get experience, etc. It’s expected that you don’t work the same position for too many years. She currently has a permanent level 4 position, but for the last 10 months has had temporary higher duties as a level 5. This runs out (as does the nice pay increase) in October. So she’s been applying for other jobs because really who wants to take a pay cut. Today she got notified that she has an interview for a permanent level 5 position and a second as a permanent level 6. It would be fantastic if she could get either of these positions. It would definitely help not only having a stable position as we’re about to start the baby making, but also means that we’ve got some good money behind us when I’m not working. The interviews are next Thursday, but who knows how long before we get an answer. It will probably make the two-week wait seem a breeze.

Since we’re now only 6 weeks away from my cycle to start the injectables, and two ovulations away from harvesting and I have 3 different packs of OPK tests, I thought I’d give it a try and POAS this month, just to see how accurate my CM watching, temperature taking and cramp recording has been.

So clearly day 14 is positive and 17 isn’t, but what about 15 & 16? It’s the shades of grey in between the + & – that I’m not too sure about. My temperature spiked up this morning, so it seems that ovulation was yesterday.

We’ve got an appointment on Tuesday with a local gyno who is a fertility specialist and has been recommended by several lesbian friends of ours. I’m hoping that she’ll be able to help us co-ordinate everything with Melbourne and be able to give us the ultra-sound tests to see how my eggs are developing once I start with the injectables. I was kinda worried that if we went through the local radiology department that firstly we wouldn’t be able to get in on the right day and secondly that their technicians wouldn’t be looking for the right thing for a successful cycle with egg retrieval.

Still haven’t heard from MIVF whether D’s test results have got there. I guess it’s fates way of saying ‘you’re waiting til August anyway’.

Here’s a picture of a visitor that we had last night. The possum was watching us take the washing of the line.

Possum in our apple tree

Maths has not been my friend this time. I’ve been playing with dates and numbers, putting them into expected due date calculators and things aren’t looking good.

I started my new job on the 6th of April, 2010. I have to be in the position for 12 months before I qualify for maternity leave and the newly introduced government paid leave. So I have to be working until 6th of April, 2011.

The first cycle we were hoping to go with would 24th of July, with egg retrieval on the 6th of August, and the transfer probably on the 8th or 9th. By most calculations if that cycle were to work I’d be due around the 29th of April 2011… giving me a mere 4 weeks between my 12 months and due date. State workplace regulations say that unless I have doctors permission  I have to start my maternity leave 6 weeks before my due date.

However if we use the cycle starting on the 22nd of August and we were successful, then my due date would be 29th of May and give me 8 weeks and a little bit more breathing space with getting maternity leave.

A heart says go with July, my head says August. It just seems so far away. It’s another 3 periods, 11 weeks, 78 days, or most of winter!

In the mean time, we’re still knitting like crazy for our futurekid.

Hand dyed and knitted baby jacket (modelled by Jenny Dolly)

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