We didn’t expect this journey to be all smooth sailing.

As previously mentioned D is off having a great time overseas, sending back pictures and making us all jealous of the great adventures he’s having. We were cool with this, knowing that he would eventually return and the baby making could start. What we didn’t take into account was suddenly everyone we know is having babies, that our desire to have children would go into overdrive, and that D would find a reason to stay overseas, possibly long term.

Yes, there were tears and we were left trying to work out how we get around this hurdle. We really didn’t want to have to choose someone else because, well… no one else comes close. So our only option is to get the stuff put into storage for later use. But we live in a backward state that has archaic fertility laws. Only heterosexual couples who are medically infertile can access IVF technology.  That’s why we were going with the traditional turkey baster method.

Where we live, we can’t access a sperm bank, fertility services or IVF. Just like abortions used to be last century, lesbians and single women have to use alternative, ‘backyard’ methods- which can lead to risks such as STDs, and of course legal messes with who is legally the parent.

So this has left us looking to options interstate. Two states in Australia allows single women and lesbians to access IVF, and there are clinics in Victoria that will allow us to store sperm, providing STD and genetic tests, and if we can find a willing doctor where we live, they will ship it to us, rather than us traveling interstate once a month. Not an easy option, but its an option.

So we’ve Googled and rung around, and there’s a clinic in Melbourne we’ve got copious amounts of paperwork from and when we come back from our honeymoon (story to follow later), we’ll be making an appointment and traveling over for a long weekend away. We’ve been told we’ll need to go through counseling to make sure this is right for us (Yes! Oh higher beings Yes!), and we’ll need to discuss with their medical people what we need (storage!), and then they go off and discuss this, they have to discuss our request due to an added complication, and then hopefully we get the go ahead.  Woohoo.

Back in our city we find a doctor who is willing to receive ‘the goods’, and then when D comes back some time this year for a visit, it’s roadtrip time over to Melbourne! It seems so far away, and by that time all our pregnant friends will have bouncing babies. But six months after that, D has a final STD test, everything is given approval and we’re good to start the baby making.

It all seems so simple when written down. But this is all going to take a year to happen.

So in the mean time we’re doing things that may not be as possible with children. Like go on our honeymoon. We got married two years ago and had a nice small commitment ceremony. We’ve got an online photo album of the day.

Our Commitment Ceremony

Our Commitment Ceremony

Unfortunately at the time I was unemployed for two weeks when we get married, and with no job security, we held off on our honeymoon. The next year Lawyer had just started a job and couldn’t take leave, so two years later, although we have a mortgage, we’re finally getting away for two weeks. Just us. No relative visiting. Wasting money on us. It feels good.

I’m also making plans to do up the house a bit more. Lawyer is not too pleased about any DIY unless it also involves people with Crew written on their backs and TV cameras. She’s still whinging about the 3 day re-grouting of the bathroom… um… actually just the shower…floor. But I’ve now got a vegie patch, a herb garden with legal sprinkler system (severe water restrictions has made most sprinklers illegal to use), and a garden bed for my chillis.  The next plan is a chicken pen for my3 girls still living at my parents place, a secure gate down the side of the house, and hopefully a pet dog, and the big house project, which will be to repaint the pergolar and tile for veranda.
Obviously we’ve got a lot of keep up busy between now and then.

I still wish it was then and not now thought.